Cancer New Moon Mandala
July 4, 2016
I Have Found My Peace
“Mike, the whole world is a circus if you look at it the right way. Every time you pick up a hand full of dust and see not the dust but a mystery…a marvel there in your hand. Every time you stop and think I’m alive! And being alive is fantastic. Every time such a thing happens Mike, you are part of the circus of Dr. Lao.”
~The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao
In the New Moon phase of Cancer, I was pleased to watch a childhood favorite, The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao. Initially released in March of 1964 (I was three that year) the movie, adapted from a 1935 fantasy novel entitled The Circus of Dr. Lao by Charles G. Finney, details the visit of a magical circus to a small town in the southwest United States, and the effects that visit has on the people of the town and the lessons the circus taught. Tony Randall played the title role along with many of the characters in the circus. I had seen it years later on television and it has had a lasting impression on me. Upon hearing the words of the final monologue (above) I realized how much they had impacted my life and my search for the “magic” of life – the “God-magic.”
The central combination of symbols appear to be an eye. An eye filled with light, love and affection, that de-light’s in gazing upon whoever chooses to gaze back. The starting point of the symbol is a four-pointed star, also known as the Bethlehem Star or natal star.
Surrounding this gleaming eye, is a five petal flower…both ovals and circles dance around this de-light-ed eye.
Surrounding the flower are five, regular pentagrams. To me they appear to be houses – like the familiar birdhouse we see during the summer in our area. They seem to shift and finally settle.
And underlying it all…the Divine triangle… body/mind/spirit… Father/Son/Spirit…. Maiden/Mother/Crone. Each of these impacted me this cycle in various ways.
Five then, dominant in this Cancer Mandala:
“The spiritual meaning of number Five deals with travel, adventure, and motion. With the highs that come with these attributes, Fives also carry instability and unpredictability, and radical changes. The spiritual meaning of Five draws our attention to the wonder of life, and beckons us to appreciate the perception of chaos all around us. Five has wild vibrations: primitive and erratic. When Five continues to pop up in your life be prepared for some action, like a trip. Remember, trips aren’t all necessarily taken physically. Some of the best journey’s are taken in the mind and spirit.”
Symbolized here are peace and calm, stability and unity…a sense of belonging… and a sense of safety in the midst of unsettling chaos.
In Cancer we move from the “I Think” of Gemini to “I Feel.” “How are you?” and “How are you feeling?” are still the hardest questions one can ask me, though now I can identify my feelings more readily… perhaps because they are currently hightened and intensified.
“It’s not the strongest of the species that survives,
nor the most intelligent that survives.
It is the one that is most adaptable
This quote piqued my interest during an episode of Consuello Mack – a favorite show of my Lovie Dearest. He watches that… I watch the birds outside my window. 😉 She attributed the quote to Darwin, but in researching the quote found it was actually said by Herbert Spencer building on the work of Darwin.
Change… is rarely, if ever, easy. And the sense of loss intensified this cycle as friend and daughter prepared to leave and write a new chapter in their lives. (As of this late writing, my dear friend has already relocated.) I never imagined that this would be such an emotional time for me. Lovie and I have moved several times in our married lives but I’ve never been the one “left behind.” This is new to me. In addition to the moves, the company my husband worked for was purchased back in the fall by a larger company. With all the changes that occur when companies are assimilated, and the high rank at which he worked, he was offered a lesser position and decided to leave. It is not the first time we have traveled this uncertain road. God always guides and provides. It has been a wonderful break for him…almost like “trying out” retirement. And a great gift to be able to take a break from a busy travel and work schedule to be home as our youngest prepares to leave for college. Such a gift!
During this cycle I was extremely busy with our parish festival. Along with a trip “back home” to visit relatives by our daughter’s request, explains the tardiness of this post. During the festival, he and my daughter took over at home so I could focus on festival and self care. Again, What a gift! At the start of the week I got a massage, mid week a pedicure. Purple is not a color I would normally choose, but when I saw the name – OPI’s “Purple with A Purpose” – is there any way I was NOT going to choose that color?! The care of my body has been a major focus this year. Everyday of this busy time I exercised and nurtured my body. I have never felt so supported, so loved, so cared for.
“The great use of life is
to spend it for something that outlasts it.”
~ William James
The Maiden/Mother/Crone Flower continues to inspire me this cycle as once again she changes. From flower, to golden ball, she now goes to seed inspiring me to hone and share my gifts perhaps in a new way… though I’m not rushing into anything. 🙂 Her wisdom will prevail and outlast her.
Early in the cycle, I saw these shoes lying by the side of the road. As I passed them, “Walk a mile in my shoes” came to mind. Little did I know how often this saying would come to bear as later that same day, and several times this cycle, I would have stirring conversations with someone and was reminded to walk in their shoes. It’s a different perspective.
As I went on my morning walks near the end of the cycle, I felt a great sense of gratitude…. How blessed my life it is, and how privileged I am to walk each day in a place that reminds me so much of my childhood home which connects me to nature and through nature to God, the Creator of it all.
Scattered leaves are already turning – perhaps due to the extreme heat we are experiencing. Other leaves don’t seem to be “yellowing” yet – the typical early sign of fall. It makes me wonder how and where people anchor themselves when the heat of life falls upon them… the hard times, the tough times, the challenging and difficult times?
As I wrote last cycle, a new song was introduced to me by our new music director. At the start of this cycle, I was singing a response back to God. The new director brought back a psalm I haven’t sung in years – a setting of 131 by David Haas, My Soul is Still:
“In You, O Lord, I have found my peace, I have found my peace.”
So interesting that my spirit was calling me to peace and calm in the midst of chaos last December/January as I created my Dream Wheel with Kathryn Costa at 100 Mandalas.com as I collected pictures I had cut from magazines. In the upper right hand corner of the wheel a picture represents “floating in an area of calm while the world rages beyond the rocks.” Just below, a ship with with the words”How good can you feel?” anchors that sentiment.
How do I feel in the midst of these changes/losses/chaos? It is a bittersweet time…and an uncertain time as Lovie looks for a new job. I certainly feel excited for those moving on! Frankly, sometimes I am a bit of a mess… feeling quite moved and sad (and yet, able to feel and be with those feelings without needing to “medicate” them with food – talk about gift!) But, most of the time? Most of the time, I feel:
Filled with hope for a future yet unknown.
Safe and calm, knowing beyond knowing that what is mine/ours will come to me/us in God’s good time, I have, indeed, found my peace.
Love, Hugs and Blessings,