Through the Mirror Darkly

Freeing Me

The mirror work has had some unanticipated results. The willingness to look deeply into my darkness brought forth a vision of myself that I have long judged inferior and rejected. It came to light casually last week, an after thought of a conversation in which I had been insensitive to a dear friend.

“How could I have done that?”, I asked myself and with some soul searching thought, realized it has been a pattern in our relationship. Looking back at other occasions in which I’d treated her meanly, I had to admit my behavior fell into the category of belittling another to feel better about myself. A personality trait I despise in others and am certainly not happy to identify in myself.

It appears that at a young and tender age I determined my social-cultural heritage was unacceptable and have spent years in denial, protecting myself from seeing that disowned and unwanted part of me. I was a bit naive to think the mirror work would be easy. I feel like I’m in a game of hide and seek.

As uncomfortable as it is to own the truth about my insecurities and related behavior, I know I must see me for all that I am before I can make adjustments and move on. Until I come to terms with who I am and where I come from, my behavior will continue to be based on fear rather than love.

Examining the shadow for the gift of light.

Transiting Pluto, the planet of the underworld, the subconscious and transformation is currently opposite my natal Moon in Cancer, associated with family, home and hearth. Here is a visual interpretation.