The Hermit – Symbolic of a 9 year
Continuing the discussion of my confusion during the Crescent phase of the Gemini lunation cycle.
Excerpt from an email sent to a friend:
What’s unfolding in my life remains a mystery. For example, I’ve just rewritten this sentence 4 times. Each time with a slightly different approach. It’s as though I have something I want to say, but can’t think of how best to say it, then I forget what it was in the first place. So, I stop, delete, and start over. ??? Okay, consider that thought abandoned.
I keep telling myself there’s a gift in all of my confusion. It’s just a matter of finding it…
For the last few days I’ve isolated; only responding to the most urgent of emails and phone calls. I can’t tell if this is a good thing or not. I’ve been journaling and making lists of ideas, which may or may not ever manifest. I’ll start to stress out over something like finances, but 30 minutes later I’ve forgotten all about it.
The one steady is writing for ZAMPC. I am dedicated to sustaining the FB pages and our newsletter until I have a better handle on my future. It definitely keeps me grounded. As I’ve said, I feel I am on the threshold of a new beginning. A big one. When describing this to another friend, she was asked if I was ill and by the tone of her voice I knew she meant gravely ill. I guess it could sound that way. I believe I’m in good health, though who knows what might be going on internally. I’m more inclined to see this as a turning point. Whether that means in my work, my social activities, my creative endeavors, my spirituality, my emotional or even physical health, I don’t know.
Anyway, major life changes rarely happen overnight. Being an astrologer helps. I can see how long the process will take, even if I can’t foresee the actual outcome. As I’ve said, I would like to experience this transition with as much awareness as possible. I understand it metaphorically. It’s like a VOC space. Thus my desire to surrender to the moment. Besides what else can one do with Neptune?
It’s an interesting journey.